Since yesterday’s awestruck post we’ve moved up in the rankings a fair bit thanks to all your avid voting, but it still looks pretty grim. That will mean all sorts of self-deprecating sour-grapesy jocularity, which you are no doubt dying to see. In an effort to spare you that sight, I have been launching DOS attacks on a witty Paris-dweller and calling in as many internet favors as I can invent.
Twittervision knows if you tell anything less than THE WHOLE TRUTH
I buy the ass-shaped fruit. Magda photographs it. Adam eats it without qualm.
Branding violation
Any Slovenian beer consumer can tell you that this constitutes a serious violation. It just isn’t done. Present a Laško drinker with an Union-logoed glass and he is as likely to urinate into it as drink from it. And vice-versa. Or something.
Reasonable expectation of respect for the social construct violation
We all have one, yes? A colleague whose mobile phone rings on average every seven minutes? And this person never seems able to find the volume down control, let alone the vibrate setting. And this person’s office doorway, which is never graced with a closed door, is directly across from yours. And one day this person, who is not six years old all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding* decides that the default ringtone for all of her 205.7 daily incoming phone calls should be set to “Crazy Frog”.
(If you do not know what Crazy Frog is, I want to be you, and do not for the love of god click on this link.)
*When I tell Magda this, that Colleague X has put the Crazy Frog ringtone into her phone, she asks me, “How old is she?” in the way that one does not when expecting an answer but rather to point out the contrast between five and 35.
Genitale verite violation
You would think that at a large Italian supermarket it would not be all that difficult to find some nice, wholesome toddler-appropriate toys, the kind that do not go far out of their way to educate, the kind that are not overly concerned with representing the world as it actually is, nature red in tooth and claw and so forth, but then you would not have bought the Wild Animals pack which Adam spent a good part of Saturday morning trying to gnaw his way into, sort of like a wild animal. When we finally reached the checkout I ripped the packet open to reveal three big cats, a zebra, giraffe, rhinoceros, and an alarmingly biologically correct Cape buffalo. Spay and neuter your pets and Cape buffalo!
See, in Spanish, ‘No va’ means, like, ‘doesn’t go’
Just the facts:
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