“Le Corbusier has a lot to answer for…”
So we’re now several days into November and welcome to it. As last year, we’ve pledged to post something on this site every day of the month, thanks to Fussy.org’s OCD-enabling annual project called NaBloPoMo. Last year the obsessive-compulsive disorderliness got a little out of hand, so this time I’ve decided to be all super-mellow about it by interpreting the ‘post something every day’ stricture in the most liberal manner possible. Specifically, by declaring a subset of NaBloPoMo called the NovNeurPhoPro. This is the third of 20-something entries. In general, text to accompany the day’s neurotic picture culled from our snarled photo archives will be minimal if present at all, but for this picture I give you
Redundantly meticulous redundancy
I need to be well-supplied with backup supplies of necessary supplies. This means that if I use a fountain pen I begin to get nervous if the ink-cartridge reserves fall below ten. Also true for vital foodstuffs, as well as for the hard disc drives which are scattered around my office and home like autumn leaves, each one unique in the version of backupped useless crap and snarled photo archives it holds.
Misanthropism
See stupidity, intolerance of. Related: behind-the-wheel hatred. If you are sharing the road with me I am likely to despise you for any number of reasons. For example, you are driving:
- too slowly
- too fast
- while talking on the phone, which doubtless has a ringtone I would happily see you skinned alive over
- a car with Ajdovscina plates
- into a roundabout with your indicator on
- a Fiat
- at all
Total recallability
I have a preternatural ability to remember every single dumb, pretentious, cruel, pompous, inadvertently hurtful, wrong, or pathetic utterance ever to emerged from my enormous, stupid mouth. This is my brain’s usual way of entertaining itself when I wake up at 3.30 am. NB: the excruciating level of detail of this ability does not extend to things I might actually wish to remember.
Odd phobias and predilections
Extreme illumination pickiness: If you invite me over to your house and your living room is illuminated by only the overhead light, we will have to stop being friends. Likewise, if your kitchen does not have under-cabinet lighting, I will not be able to prepare pasta puttanesca for you after all. Sorry. And: my weird LED fixation has already been mentioned.
Bizarre collections of gadgets & items of dubious utility
Take the ice axe in the cellar. No, really, take it. Why do I have this Bluetooth headset? At what point did I think this was something so necessary to my continued existence and productivity that I sought it out and spent enough to keep my son in chocolate eggs for months? We could also cross-reference here to the assortment of hard drives mentioned under Redundantly meticulous redundancy. And the LEDs. This frenetic fixation on acquiring useless stuff is counter-balanced by an obsessive reluctance to purchase things I actually do need, even in the face of the obvious. E.g., I have this pair of shoes I wear to work. They are old and shabby and close to falling apart, and my wife loathes and despises them with the crushing intensity of a billion black holes full of 16-ton weights. Despite her feelings about this, I have been planning to replace them for several years. I will probably get around to doing it in 2010.
Obsessive-compulsive disorderly conduct
Punctuality: I am a frequent visitor to sites such as the USNO’s cesium-calibrated atomic clock page, ensuring that my chronometers are all set to its “accurate to better than a billionth of a second per day” standard. I am not even kidding. And if you are late I will glare at you through slitted eyes of hate because I KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS.
Proofreading: though the occasional error does appear in these pages, their frequency is very low due to the fact that for every minute it takes you to read any given entry, I have spent 45 minutes obsessively proofreading it.
Your welcom.
CROSS-REFERENCE TO NABLOPOMO 2006:
Gunpowder isn’t cheap
Things I suck at
I get the intentional misspelling at the end, but you really might want to fix the USNO hyperlink. I’m going to keep refreshing the page until you do, because now I’m concerned that all my clocks are wrong.
Comment by Erik R. — Monday 5 November 07 @ 18.01 MST+2.00
-Punctuality? Check.
-Gadgets? Check. Although mine tend to fall into the old-school hand tools category. Did I need to buy the Prince Albert tin full of variously-sized hex wrenches this weekend. YES I DID.
-Proofreading: Only of other people’s stuff. As my readers know, I cannot proofread my own writing worth a damn.
-Misanthropy, particularly when moving vehicles are involved? Check.
-Redundantly meticulous redundancy? Check. Particularly with pens and quad-ruled paper.
Comment by Jane — Monday 5 November 07 @ 18.25 MST+2.00
Darn. No pasta puttanesca for me.
Comment by andrea — Monday 5 November 07 @ 18.59 MST+2.00
I need to add Total recallability of every single boneheaded thing I have ever done or said to my list as well.
Comment by Jane — Monday 5 November 07 @ 19.03 MST+2.00
1.) Oh! I get it! Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -Liness.
Not OC Disorderliness. It did seem a bit of an oxymoron.
2.) I thought you wanted that ice axe. And after what your mother went through to get it to you!
3.) Your welcom made me laugh out loud. Seriously.
Comment by gaoo — Monday 5 November 07 @ 19.40 MST+2.00
Erik: the link is fixed. And I am mortified that I allowed a broken link to get through the rigorous copyediting process. It was inevitable, I suppose, since I went ahead and mentioned it, sort of like Hartman’s Law.
Jane: quad-ruled paper! How did I forget to list that?
Andrea: it’s not too late to install them.
Comment by sgazzetti — Monday 5 November 07 @ 19.51 MST+2.00
I can’t tell whether the treatise on Hartman’s Law is serious, or a complicated parody! What an ignorami. Um.
Comment by gaoo — Monday 5 November 07 @ 22.50 MST+2.00
Looking forward to more photos. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Comment by Geggie — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 03.27 MST+2.00
I will glare at you through slitted eyes of hate
May I borrow that phrase as an addendum under the nameplate on my doorway?
Sort of sets the toen I need for a no-nonsense therefore no-overtime office.
Comment by DarkoV — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 04.31 MST+2.00
I love me some quad-ruled paper.
More on topic, though… I don’t understand this NaBloMeHarDer-type organized months. Are people really so lacking in motivation? Is the end really a desired one? I can understand organizing a “let’s all go to the park and pick up litter” day, because that’s something that no one’s gonna do on their own, but will do in groups. But blogging is inherently personal. I don’t know. I just don’t get it I guess.
Comment by Erik R. — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 12.58 MST+2.00
I’m in it for the tiny possibility of prizes.
Comment by andrea — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 15.42 MST+2.00
I don’t get it, either. But that’s never stopped me from doing anything before.
Comment by sgazzetti — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 16.18 MST+2.00
I was in it because it seemed like such an easy thing for me to complete successfully. I should have known that would never be permitted.
Comment by Jane — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 16.33 MST+2.00
Glad you guys could straighten that out for me.
Comment by Erik R. — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 17.14 MST+2.00
Erik: Glad we could too.
Comment by Jane — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 18.25 MST+2.00
Hey! Teach me to be punctual and I’ll show you how to make pasta without fancy-dancy under-cabinet lighting. (I’m not saying it’s not desirable, I’m just saying it’s theoretically possible to prepare food without it. Alternatively I can lend you my headlamp, which vaguely approximates the effect.)
I’m with you on the living room thing. Ick! Who DOES that?
Comment by Roo — Tuesday 6 November 07 @ 20.23 MST+2.00
Hey, what’s wrong with Ajdovscina plates? Not that I have them, but some of my best friends are from Ajdovscina.
Me, I hate any car/driver with Celje registration. And all Italians.
Comment by Jean — Saturday 10 November 07 @ 09.32 MST+2.00
Well, Jean, if I have to explain it to you, you wouldn’t understand. And I love how you take issue with my prejudice against Ajdovscina drivers while in the same breath condemning the much larger population of Celeians.
No comment about that yet larger population of drivers you condemn…
Comment by sgazzetti — Saturday 10 November 07 @ 21.40 MST+2.00