Our running title for these serialized installments remains apt, Alek, as you refine your torture techniques and consolidate your weight. This month we’ve seen your ridiculous roundness mellow, the rolls of fat on your wrists and kneecaps gradually fade into muscular bulk that is now making the transition from the merely flabby to the big. At this age Adam had an upwards growth spurt that established his ectomorphic physique, but we can already see, Alek, that you’re likely soon to not only outweigh your brother, but out-tall him, too. Ike is poised to be large. So, as the shorthand signifiers ‘the long one’ and ‘the round one’ lose their ties to the signified, we’ve taken to calling you two ‘Bobble-head Taz’ and ‘Twig-leg Spaz’.
Sorry I’m late with this report by two weeks. Exciting stuff got in the way, and then I didn’t feel like it, and then the internet was broken. But the delay by no means should be taken to indicate that there’s been nothing to report. Alek started the month with an awkward, groveling crawl, in which his legs were dragged uselessly behind him and his forehead was frequently used as a sort of pseudopod. We’ve watched the painful progress of this until it’s a fair approximation of ‘proper’ ass-in-the-air crawling, but even though your limbs are lengthening, Ike, you’ve still got two assloads of ass to hoist into the air. So you quickly decided to hell with the leverage stuff, and moved right on to standing upright with your ass out behind you to counterbalance your bobble-head.
This business of being able to move horizontally (often remarkably fast, if there is an electric wire or a filth-encrusted shoe in sight) and, in a rudimentary fashion, vertically, has increased the amount of trouble you can cause/get into exponentially, upping the exhaustion factor of tending you correspondingly. Adam howls with the grief and woe of the persecuted as you make a lighting wriggle for his Homer Simpson Pez dispenser, ingest crayons, snatch at Legos. Come to think of it, Adam is no stranger to howls of grief and woe no matter what.
Ignore that last sentence. That was what we in the business call ‘litotes’ and it was an exaggeration. Adam, you’ve been behaving in a much happier manner lately, to the point where your meltdown tantrums are all the more noticeable for their infrequency.
And when they do happen they mostly just make us crack up and reach for the camera.
It’s been a very full and exciting month for all of us, what with the long holiday togetherness time, our sea voyage to Croatia, Grandma’s Susan’s visit, trips to Bohinj and Predjama, feeding ducks and so on. Adam, you have responded to this flurry of activity with a stream of constant narration of what you’ve recently done, what you’re currently doing, and what you hope to do again soon. It really boggles our minds what a little chattypants you’ve become, and how much detail you can recall and regurgitate in three languages.
It’s been a really good time for your ‘dwuga babcia’ to get to know you — the last time she saw you you were barely any bigger than Alek and were not quite talking or walking. Quite a contrast. Unfortunately, your American grandmother suffers from a condition which dictates that if an identifiable photographic likeness of her is posted to the internet, her face will melt off like that Nazi in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’, so you’ll have to settle for this one of you and Grandma Susan:
Alek is working out to be an exceedingly happy baby, very compliant and smiley most of the time. This is good, as your winning smile has the felicitous effect of breaking up the geometrical cubosity of your blockhead. It’s really interesting getting to watch you two brothers evolve into such different shapes. If we ever had a daughter I imagine she’d be shaped like a Menger sponge.
One quibble, though: lately there’s been a certain reluctance on your part, Ike, to actually sleep during the night. It seems you’re too interested in learning to do stuff, and are impatient to catch up with your brother, who you transparently adore and lionize. It’s absolutely wonderful to watch you two get along:
Adam hardly ever cracks you a solid one at all anymore. Even when you deserve it.
