Tiny milestones
Ike: “…to pass without delay or hindrance…”
Discounting as a mere technicality February’s visits to the tiny plots of Polish and U.S. soil enclosed by embassy fences, Saturday marked Ike’s “first trip abroad”, as Magda put it when we were returning from a desultory grocery shopping trip to Italy. Until last week it was not possible for us to shop as a family, but now we’ve finally received his tiny passport:
Probably it is just us, but the tiny baby passport is one gag that never fails to crack us up. And as Holly points out, you have to love the stars on his forehead.
Adam: don’t worry, it’ll make you look like a pirate
And another milestone: as Mama says, “I think this needs to be included in a post — that was a MAJOR BONK.” Three stitches in the side of your mouth later, we are hoping that any scarring will only serve to give you character. More than enough trauma for a Wednesday. Fortuitously, you were wearing your “MEET THE VIKING BOY” shirt, which seemed fitting given all the gore with which it and several local emergency rooms are now festooned. And no, no photos were taken of the gaping wound you briefly had IN THE SIDE OF YOUR FACE. I have learned my lesson.
Having been on the team of three needed to hold you down for the suturing, I am now officially anti-blood-sport.
“Tiny passport”? So the baby passports in the USA are smaller then the normal, grown-up variety? Or is that just a matter of referring to its owner’s size?
And, welcome to the “parents of the sutured kids” club! Start counting the stitches, there are probably more on the way as years go by and boys tend to go wilder and wilder.
Comment by ka-ma — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 11.42 MDT+2.00
I find the idea of having photo IDs for babys pretty humorous. First of all, they really do look all alike. And secondly, their appearance changes so rapidly within a matter of weeks that it’s pretty silly to ask an immigration official to seriously consider whether or not that the 5-month-old in your arms is the same as the 2-month-old in the photograph.
And it’s valid for five years?!? Ha! No doubt his brother could borrow his passport in a pinch for the next few years. :-)
What does SURNAMEREDACTED mean?
Comment by Erik R. — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 12.04 MDT+2.00
ka-ma: the ‘tiny’ thing is a joke (see this entry for more detail). And I’m sure you’re right about these three stitches being just the start for this stunt-baby.
Erik R: ‘SURNAMEREDACTED’ means we’re maintaining one last shred of theoretical anonymity here. For now.
Comment by sgazzetti — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 12.45 MDT+2.00
You mean that’s photoshopped? Wow, I couldn’t tell at all.
You know, there’s money to be made in realistic passport forgeries….wink..wink..
(it would have helped if “redact” was in my vocabulary.)
Comment by Erik R. — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 13.13 MDT+2.00
Is it just the lighting or do tiny baby passports really come in pastel blue and pink? Because that’s kind of twee. Why not baby ducks instead of the stars? Go for it, Department of State.
Comment by Jane — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 13.38 MDT+2.00
That is PAINSTAKINGLY photoshopped to do the bare minimum for preventing baby identity theft. I didn’t think it would be smart to post Ike’s identity out there in teh internets, so if you look closely you’ll also see that the passport number is smudged out, etc.
And it’s neither the lighting nor a special baby-specific color scheme; this is the standard background for American grown-ups, too. I do like the ducky idea, though, not to mention such appropriate use of the word ‘twee’. Extra bonus comment points.
Comment by sgazzetti — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 14.27 MDT+2.00
Obviously, I still haven’t gotten my passport yet* or I’d know that. I wonder if they’d let me have baby ducks on mine?
*I just need to turn in the paperwork. This isn’t difficult.
Comment by Jane — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 15.34 MDT+2.00
Sure they will, Jane! Just ask nicely. That’s how I got tiny jolly Rogers on mine.
Comment by Elsa — Thursday 5 April 07 @ 18.44 MDT+2.00
Thanks for the clarification on “tiny”! It shows that I was away for a while and still didn’t catch up on reading your past posts!
By the way, I just looove the idea of tiny ducks on the passports! How cute would that be?
Comment by ka-ma — Friday 6 April 07 @ 01.02 MDT+2.00
Maybe the cover of our passports should just say “The United States of Twee.” No, no–The Twee States of America. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Comment by jdog — Friday 6 April 07 @ 04.43 MDT+2.00
You know, you really need to get Adam some sutures in his eyebrow. Girls find eyebrow scars magnetically sexy. Lip scars? Less so. Unless they were gained in the process of killing a grizzly with your bare hands.
Comment by jdog — Friday 6 April 07 @ 04.53 MDT+2.00
I just want to know what Ike Turner has to do with any of this.
Comment by Sarcastro — Sunday 8 April 07 @ 23.12 MDT+2.00
Of course the numbers are smudged with pshop. I was commenting on how real the text looks.
Comment by Erik R. — Friday 13 April 07 @ 13.25 MDT+2.00