Pool remains open
Magda [looking at self sideways in full-length mirror]: Look at this! It can’t possibly get any bigger!
Me: That is ridiculous.
Magda: I can’t stand it much longer.
Me: It still seems to me like a dumb way to make new humans.
Magda: How can it work?
Me: It certainly argues against ‘intelligent design’!
Magda: It’s crazy!
Me: What’s wrong with sitting on an egg?
When Magda was pregnant with Adam, it was all miracle-of-lifey and weepy-wonderful, but with this baby, we’re sorry to say, the novelty has somewhat worn off. I mean, yes, it’s interesting to watch/feel the creature roil the tense surface of Magda’s distended abdomen, but interesting in a kind of ewww, gross, how can you stand having that thing inside you? way, rather than the soft-focus here grows my firstborn son way. Also, to be fair, this pregnancy has been vastly more fraught, by which I mean difficult, painful, and enormous, than the Adam pregnancy was. Adam’s was (for the most part) smooth and dreamlike, and Magda’s frequent refrain was It’s cool to have a baby inside. I haven’t heard her saying that this time around. This time, it just seems like a ridiculously inefficient way of making new humans, and I wonder if some other alternative couldn’t have worked out better. That said, I am fully in support of the thesis that if men had to bear children, there wouldn’t be any children.
Deep thanks to everyone who wrote to express interest in the arrival date of the upcoming baby, and for all the suggestions, serious and non-, for middle names with which to honor, saddle, and torment. As you can see in the calendar image above, the month of January is pretty well staked out, but plenty of slots remain available for late-comers; the pool will remain open until habemus babem, though I’m certainly not going to be modifying the calendar image every time someone chimes in*.
Now that I have turned our reproductive strategies into an internet spectacle, I feel a certain amount of pressure to post the news here as soon as possible upon having any, so you can count on getting word relatively soon after this child emerges into the harsh light of January.
[*] And if you do want to chime in, please do it in the original baby pool comments queue.
Wow, you with the handwriting – did you go to architect school?
If your day job doesn’t work out, you could get hired to caption comics.
Comment by juliloquy — Friday 5 January 07 @ 22.08 MST+2.00
Your calendar with all its entries looks like a reception committee for your new baby – I do think it is OK to delegate some things :-)
Comment by alcessa — Friday 5 January 07 @ 22.14 MST+2.00
I just wish you could be more organized about this whole thing.
*rolls eyes*
And honestly, no one expects you to drop everything and update us the second the child arrives. Within an hour of delivery is just fine.
Comment by Jane — Friday 5 January 07 @ 22.18 MST+2.00
Re “so says Lilit”: I would just like to point out something that many of you non-dog fanatics may not be aware of, namely, on June 10 Lilit correctly predicted the composition of the litter born to Australian shepherd Flying Fortress’ Bibi Blocksberg (Blum) on July 14. Lilit said, and I quote, “Jaz recem, da jih bo… 7. 4 fantki, 3 puncke. 3 blumerli, 4 trikolorji. 2 z repom, 5 brez – ta brez pomeni razlicne dolzine NBT.”
Translation: 7 pups, 4 boys and 3 girls. 3 blue merle, 4 tricolor. Two with tails, five without (i.e. various lengths of natural bobtail–NBT).
A month later we got this announcement on Blum’s webpage:
14.7.2006 se je skotilo sedem �udovitih mladi�kov. 4 fantki ( 3 black tri z dolgim repom in 1 blue merle NBT) in 3 puncke ( 1 black tri NBT in 2 blue merle z dolgim repom).
Translation: On July 14 seven wonderful puppies were born. 4 boys (3 black tri with long tail and 1 blue merle with NBT) and 3 girls (1 black tri NBT and 2 blue merle with long tails).
So: Seven puppies. 4 boys, 3 girls. 3 were blue merle, 4 were black tri. The only thing Lilit messed up on was the tails–it was exactly reversed; five had long tails, 2 were NBT.
Sorry, Magda, this could be a long pregnancy. Though it’s probably safe to assume that your son will be born without a tail, whatever Lilit says.
Comment by Jean — Friday 5 January 07 @ 22.45 MST+2.00
“Blue Merle” would be a good middle name.
Comment by Jane — Friday 5 January 07 @ 22.53 MST+2.00
Though it’s probably safe to assume that your son will be born without a tail
Bobtail would be a great middle name.
Comment by Gwynne — Friday 5 January 07 @ 23.34 MST+2.00
“And honestly, no one expects you to drop everything and update us the second the child arrives. Within an hour of delivery is just fine.”
Jane, we get to watch the whole process via webcam –didn’t you know?
Comment by Jean — Saturday 6 January 07 @ 09.46 MST+2.00
Oh, and on the sitting on an egg business… I take it you haven’t seen “March of the Penguins”?
Comment by Jean — Saturday 6 January 07 @ 10.15 MST+2.00
Webcam? Fantastic.
Comment by Jane — Saturday 6 January 07 @ 13.43 MST+2.00
Hey, if I guess this one, too, I might open a fortune-reading-hotline as a side job.
For the middle name: how about Gabriel?
Comment by Lilit — Saturday 6 January 07 @ 15.14 MST+2.00
It’s probably fortune telling rather than reading.
Comment by Lilit — Saturday 6 January 07 @ 15.22 MST+2.00
Love the ilustrative definity that the calendar offers!
Per my (limited) deductive conclusions, Rory (the soon-to-be-chosen chosen middle name of the arrival) will prove Jdog, Michael M., or myself to be the winners.
Why?
Well, as the calendar shows, all three of us picked Wednesday as the launch date. What better day for the parents than a Wednesday? Makes for a very long weekend with paid time off for the exhausted creators. Call it Rory’s Holiday…and I still think the 17th (next week’s Wed.) looks like the winner. Egg’s getting close to being hatched.
Comment by DarkoV — Monday 8 January 07 @ 17.01 MST+2.00
Webcam be damned. Nobody deserves to witness it unless they are actually in the room. Much like other uses for webcams. Or so I understand.
Have we gotten to the point where the breasts point off in two different directions? Speaking from personal experience, YUK. Ok I guess that was way TMI.
Comment by gaoo — Tuesday 9 January 07 @ 23.49 MST+2.00
Aren’t we getting streaming video of the delivery? If you were half the geek you think you are, we would be right there with you.
Comment by jdog — Thursday 11 January 07 @ 04.45 MST+2.00