Dear Krapht Phoods Australia Ltd,
----- Original Message ----
From: Kraft Foods Australia Limited <kraftfoodsjob009@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 1:59:12 AM
Subject: Online Job Offer.
Kraft Foods Limited
187 Todd Road Fisherman’s
Bend VIC 3207Australia.
www.kraftfoods.com.au
Kraft Foods Australia is one of the leaders in the packaged foods industry
and we have been around since 1926. Kraft is a household name in Australia,
synonymous with foods of the highest quality, produced for both local and
overseas consumption. These include cheeses, mayonnaise, spreads, salad
dressings, packaged meals, snack foods, coffee and confectionery.Our
headquarters is located in Melbourne with manufacturing plants located in
Victoria and South Australia.
We have reached big sales volume in the America/Canada/Europe/ Asia market
as a result of this; we are looking for dynamic sales force on the role as
online processing/payment officer whose duties will be processing orders as
well as receiving payment on behalf of the company.
You earn commission on your job.
If this proposal sounds interesting to you, then take the first big step and
contact us at:(kraftfoods_job@myway.com).
As soon as we hear from you, we shall give you the necessary information
needed for the contract.
Thanks for your anticipated co-operation.
Best Regards
Mr. Frederick Thomas
KRAFT FOODS LIMITED
----- Reply To Message ----
To: kraftfoods_job@myway.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 2:02:21 AM
Subject: You're Incredibly Enticing Online Job Offer.
Yes!
Your porposal sound very interesting for me. Please send for me more informations how I can aquire this job.
Sincerely your's
Anton Van Grootenbruel
ps I have some very interesting ideas for marketing!
From the late lamented SPY magazine, c. 1990
UPDATE!
emphasis ours:
----- Reply To Message ----
To: anton_van_grootenbruel@clientomitted.com
Sent: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 7:55:14 AM
Subject: More Informations On Kraft Foods Job Offer
Good Day: Anton Van Grootenbruel
Thank you very much for your response and your interest in Working with Kraft Foods Australia. We appreciate the fact that you are ready to represent this company in your country. You should not have anything to worry about as there shall be no financial requirements from your side. Firstly, we will want to know the type of occupation that you do and how old you are so as to ascertain the type of customers to assign you to. You should note that this kind of business transaction is based on reputation. As we have not met before, we have to develop trust for each other to see this through.
Our company Kraft Foods Australia Limited. Was established in 1926. Kraft is a
household name in Australia,synonymous with foods of the highest quality produced for both local and overseas consumption. These include cheeses, mayonnaise, spreads, salad dressings, packaged meals, snack foods, coffee and confectionery. We will also like you to note here that by acting as our payment agent in your country, in other words, you will be collecting payment from our customers.
By doing this on our behalf you will be paid 10% of very amount that you collect. This is how it works, all our customers within your jurisdiction will be directed to you for payment. Note that they pay in money orders,cheques and wired payments and your work as our representative is to cash these money orders and cheques, deduct your percentage from it and the balance made payable in to our designated account that will be availed to you later.
However, you are to provide us with your contact details stating your full names, postal/residential address and your phone number and any form of identification (scanned drivers license or international passport) these should be sent via email. These details will be given to our different customers for the necessary contact for payment. We will start giving your contact information to our customers as soon as you provide us with the above mentioned information.
On the receipt of this information and subject to our satisfaction,we shall forward to you our Memorandum of understanding which you shall sign to seal up the employment agreement in accordance with our Company Policy.
An acknowledgement of this mail would be appreciated. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.Your satisfaction is our watch word
Best Regards
Mr. Frederick Thomas
Public Relations Officer (p.r.o)
KRAFT FOODS LIMITED
…what?
Comment by Jane — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 12.58 MST+2.00
Which part don’t you understand, Jane? The phishing part, or the use of Old Glory to sell Cheez Whiz™?
Or maybe it was Anton who threw you…
Comment by sgazzetti — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 13.36 MST+2.00
What a great way to put food on your family! Literally! Adam will look terrific smeared in Cheez Whiz.
Comment by Jean — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 14.04 MST+2.00
I think the gestalt overwhelmed me: Kraft, phishing, Australia, Cheese Whiz, Old Glory, etc.
I do like this though: “Your satisfaction is our watchword”
Comment by Jagosaurus — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 14.33 MST+2.00
I thought Kraft was eliminating the trans-fats? Sounds like they’re simply exporting them all Down Under.
Comment by DarkoV — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 15.23 MST+2.00
I’m sure you meant ‘trans-phats’.
And by the way, it’s ‘watch word’.
Comment by sgazzetti — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 16.15 MST+2.00
Yo! Yo! Yo! (not sure how many “Yo!”’s are needed in the most current vernacular, so please excuse my overage/underage Yoing.)
Phats is where it’s ats. I stand corrected. Thank Yo!
Comment by DarkoV — Thursday 16 November 06 @ 18.08 MST+2.00
I just emailed all of my identification to Krapht Phoods. Can’t wait to represent!
Comment by Gwynne — Saturday 18 November 06 @ 01.13 MST+2.00
Way to go, Gwynne! I hope you remembered to email them your mother’s maiden name, too, just in case. I’m sure there’s plenty of this pie to go around, so let’s represent together!
Comment by sgazzetti — Thursday 23 November 06 @ 16.22 MST+2.00