A prisoner no longer
Magda had the foresight to anticipate complications in Adam’s transition from crib to bed. She thought he might be traumatized by the change, or that he might miss the crib, or feel exposed like a mountaineer bivouacking on an exposed ledge high up on the Eiger Nordwand. I was primarily concerned about what mischief he would get up to with the screwdriver during assembly.
As it turned out, there was no need to worry, and in fact Adam was terrifically excited by the prospect of graduating to a big-boy bed. Magda prepped him via the IKEA website, checking in with me as to what bedding I was buying and so forth, so that he had reliable mental images by the time I came home. Here’s his new bed, and through the paired annoying miracles of text messages reading, for example, Barnslig rand in blue and Korall Bubblor, and IKEA’s website, Magda and Adam could see my bedding choices in almost-real-time. So by the time I got home Adam was well used to the idea and a bit over-excited to assist with assembly.
- This bed is in the category of letti estensibili, which means that both headboard and footboard can be lowered to accommodate Adam’s beanpole-like growth, or they can be left up for Procrustean punishments, our choice.
- Yes, he has already discovered that the head- and footboards make excellent baby launchpads.
- The top photograph was actually taken in the dark, and the flash did not wake the little monster up.
- Magda was all saddened at the dismantling of the crib, forgetting apparently that we will be filling it up again all too soon.
Adam’s genuine excitement at having this new bed made all the aqua-ness of its purchase more than worthwhile. The anti-Eiger-ledge-scenario safety bar was sold out, of course, so we have turned to alternate solutions. We loved the idea of Adam being able to clamber out of bed on his own and come padding into our bedroom early in the morning. In practice, our experience has been more oriented toward him howling his way past the wicker linen chest and stomping out into the livingroom at zero-dark-hundred to sit sullenly in front of the blackened television screen waiting for something to happen.
Excellent entry. What else can one expect, eh? I especially appreciate being introduced to the expresssion, Procrustean bed, via your link. It will be something I’ll be inserting into many of my business conversations, especially those involving the soul-sucking meetings we seem to have a need for.
So, rather than being accused of cutting off the sleep-inducing harangues of some of my associates, I’ll simply state, “Let’s put this topic to a Procrustean bed.” Who can argue with that?
About the bed, didn’t it come with those hooks that are usually mounted on doghouses? That way you can leash Adam in so that early morning perambulations are minimized. Unless he has a set of chompers that’ll chew through rope…then you’d be forced to use metal chains and that’s not a good thing. You’ll have sounds a la Marley all night long. And it’s not even Christmas.
Comment by DarkoV — Tuesday 17 October 06 @ 15.15 MDT+2.00
My daughter and son both sleep in the exact same “crucifixion” position as Adam in the first picture. Is this a universal thing for kids?
Comment by Michael M. — Tuesday 17 October 06 @ 17.54 MDT+2.00
Probably so, Michael. Occasionally Adam will roll over onto his side, but this ‘Steve Holt!’ form is his default position.
Do your kids snore like Minke whales?
Darko, the chains aren’t a bad idea, but maybe bungies would be more entertaining.
Comment by sgazzetti — Wednesday 18 October 06 @ 08.40 MDT+2.00
Bungies … YES!
DO IT.
My cats snore like minke whales.
Comment by Jagosaurus — Wednesday 18 October 06 @ 16.07 MDT+2.00
“leashes,” “metal chains,” “bungies”
Look at the sweet, innocent Adam sleeping there, all quiet and peaceful, Christlike even, James and Percy perched overhead, keeping an eye on things. Do you all share the same instruments (Darko knows what I’m talking about)? ;-)
Comment by Gwynne — Thursday 19 October 06 @ 22.46 MDT+2.00
Oh! A big boy bed! How exciting. :)
Comment by victoria winters — Friday 20 October 06 @ 21.16 MDT+2.00
Maybe my son is the exception proving the rule or something, but he doesn’t sleep in that position usually. He usually sleeps on his stomach since he got old enough to roll over by himself.
Comment by jdog — Saturday 21 October 06 @ 06.31 MDT+2.00
Are the rest of you like me waiting eagerly for the day when this site suddenly proclaims, “Now 66% appendix-free.” It’s like waiting to see which Beatle will die next.
Comment by jdog — Sunday 22 October 06 @ 07.35 MDT+2.00
Re appendix-free: YES.
Comment by Jane — Sunday 22 October 06 @ 17.20 MDT+2.00
Of which kind of appendix are you currently 33% free, if you don’t mind me asking?
Comment by Gwynne — Sunday 22 October 06 @ 18.41 MDT+2.00
It’s the most predictable kind that we’re talking about, Gwynne.
Comment by sgazzetti — Sunday 22 October 06 @ 21.12 MDT+2.00
As I suspected…and after I wasted all that time searching for your appendix. Sheesh. I did appreciate the FAQ with Glossary of Terms. ;-)
So when the baby arrives, will the blog become 25% appendix-free?
Comment by Gwynne — Monday 23 October 06 @ 06.57 MDT+2.00
Blimey, I hadn’t thought of that. It’s a good thing you mentioned it, so I can changed the title-bar randomizer.
Comment by sgazzetti — Monday 23 October 06 @ 11.32 MDT+2.00
On a sort of (not really) related topic, the local Buckwheat Baby has shifted her MO from howling to shrieking. I never thought I’d miss the howling but I do.
Comment by Jagosaurus — Monday 23 October 06 @ 14.02 MDT+2.00
Also, I should have mentioned that I hope the Buckwheat Baby’s next move will be Battle Cries of the World. And I hope this happens soon. Shrieks are so one-note.
Comment by Jagosaurus — Monday 23 October 06 @ 16.50 MDT+2.00
Jagosaurus,
My current call indicator on my mobile is an ineffectual and inexcusable ring tone. I tried Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart (composers all who are most certainly proud of their compositions’ current destination) and those guys don’t do it either.
What should my ring tones be doing, you may ask?
They should be eliciting empathy and understanding as to why I must anser my cell phone immediately!
You have provided a possible solution. Could you record your wonderous childs’ shrieks, or even her howlings and post them for downloads? I know that having your baby’s cries of self-expression on my cell phone will immediately register with my fellow meeting mates that I should leave said meeting, immediately, to answer such an urgent call of distress.
Comment by DarkoV — Tuesday 24 October 06 @ 16.07 MDT+2.00
DarkoV: If only this child were mine. She belongs to a lovely couple who live downstairs from me. I kid about her noisiness but it is genuinely distressing, and I can only imagine how her parents must feel. The child makes noises as though she is being drawn-and-quartered when I know she is very well loved and cared for. When not shrieking, she is giggly, happy and very playful and interactive.
I will attempt to record some of her utterances for you, however. It should be easy and convenient as they are so penetrating as to afford me the luxury of not having to leave my apartment to hear them. In fact, I can be at the far opposite end of the building and hear her clearly.
Thus far she hasn’t switched to battle cries but I still hold out hope.
Comment by Jagosaurus — Wednesday 25 October 06 @ 15.20 MDT+2.00