Violations
I am all in favor of linguistic inclusiveness, but I have a problem with this on a number of levels. First of all, couldn’t they just choose one language (let’s say, in all randomness, Danish) and use it? In a case like this I find it highly unlikely that a great deal of confusion is going to take place over how this bizarre Danish loanword should be interpreted in, say, Dutch, or even as far afield as in Slovene or Spanish. Exceptions could be made for languages which do not use the Roman alphabet, or in which the word actually might require translation. Still, if I were in Russia buying underwear and were faced with ‘krimlyen’ I would have at least a fair idea of what I was getting myself into.
And that brings me to the next point. Or in fact is the next point. Other than those New Guinea highlanders they’re always stumbling on, you know, the ones with no word in their lexicon for ‘peace’ or ‘four’ or some such, who out there is not going to be able to identify a 100% polyester item in the absence of any tag whatsoever? I’m waiting.
Further: you know that the manufacturer did not settle on this list independently. There was a mandate in here somewhere. It makes me think of one of those New Yorker cartoons in which the drawing itself is entirely inconsequential and everything is carried by the caption: “You know who’s a big pain in the ass? Europe.” Just look at the paradox posed by the languages describing the makeup of the item versus those telling you where it was made. Those languages are like the labelling security council. I am not sure I dare to wonder how they decided upon the order (or the precedence ?) in which the languages appear. That must have been a bloodbath.
(If it was made in Portugal, why is the Portuguese language nowhere on this tag? Anyone?)
I realize that this site is visited (and presumably read, but who really knows sometimes?) by people from many different language backgrounds, and so I think it’s quite likely that someone will educate me about why such a label is necessary and how many committees contributed to its genesis, evolution, and execution. I look forward to this expansion of my understanding.
Bonus question: are those little icons at the bottom supposed to be internationally understood? Because most of them look like Jupiterian runes to me. And if we can invent an international symbol for ‘remove promptly from dryer’ for example, can’t we invent one for ‘100% polyester’? Indeed, are we not obligated to?
I should emphasize that this label, which came out of a pair of underwear, was many centimeters long, made of a very scratchy material, and located in a poorly thought-out spot. This may explain it if this post reads in any way ‘cranky’.
Something that never vexes: software from Redmond, Washington!
I decided it was not incumbent upon me to invent another title for this section. Many occurred to me. I am not even sure it is necessary to go into this at all. I have decided not to license this demo software. Options abound, including free ones.
But I will say that if you send us a CV, trust Word to do your proofreading at your peril. If this is news to anyone, god help them.
For a foreshadowed transition to the next bit, let me add that Word will have no truck whatsoever with the passive voice. It should not even be attempted unless the grammar-checker has been disabled. It is a structure up with which Word will not put.
Language Log last month had a software-related post containing the phrase, “appalling piece of linguistic blindness”. Providing this link is my way of giving equal time to the 4% market share. And while I’m on the topic of Language Log, take a look at this bit of Churchilliana. It comes out of context, from a post about the passive voice, but I enjoyed it purely on its own (non-grammar-related) merits:
Was the Desert Railway a possibility? With this question the General was now confronted. He appealed to expert opinion. Eminent railway engineers in England were consulted. They replied with unanimity that, having due regard to the circumstances, and remembering the conditions of war under which the work must be executed, it was impossible to construct such a line. Distinguished soldiers were approached on the subject. They replied that the scheme was not only impossible, but absurd. Many other persons who were not consulted volunteered the opinion that the whole idea was that of a lunatic, and predicted ruin and disaster to the expedition. Having received this advice, and reflected on it duly, the Sirdar ordered the railway to be constructed without more delay.
Closing out today’s entry is another case of well-intentioned linguistic inclusiveness gone awry. This is the signage outside a gelateria just over the border in Italy. They seem to be appealing to Slovenians and to German-speaking customers (bearing in mind that the Austrian border is only an hour north). Unfortunately, the Slovene translation of ‘open’ and ‘ice-creamery’ falls short on a number of counts. I’ll let Slovene readers detail them in the comments, if they wish, since I’m sure I’d miss something, but I count five errors in this two-word sample. I appreciate the effort, but surely they could have found a native speaker and checked this before committing it in to paint.
And if we’re being so linguistically sharing around here, why doesn’t this ice cream palace’s sign include Friulian? The road signs do.
Sounds like that Dry Heat you discussed earlier is getting to you and then, to top (or, really bottom) it all off, you jump into your gaccis this morning only to find a tongue of a tag letting you know the 100 percentage of its fakeness lapping you r backside.
An awful start to a day.
You know, I’m quite positive that had you boarded the 100% cotton underwear train, your day would have smoothly and naturally left the station.
So, instead of biting your shorts you’re allowing the shorts to bite you.
Comment by DarkoV — Monday 7 August 06 @ 22.42 MDT+2.00
Did that label unfurl like a scroll?
Comment by Jane — Tuesday 8 August 06 @ 00.48 MDT+2.00
“Unfurl” is a very good word to describe one of the several things the label accomplished.
And you’re right, Darko, my bitterness is all too evident in this post. I’ve seen the error of my ways and am now clad entirely in hemp.
Comment by sgazzetti — Tuesday 8 August 06 @ 06.34 MDT+2.00
That label is absolutely priceless.
Great stuff.
–
Comment by bruce — Tuesday 8 August 06 @ 07.35 MDT+2.00
Haha, this goes into my top 3 laughs of the day! 100% well-written :)
Comment by Matej — Tuesday 8 August 06 @ 21.37 MDT+2.00
They use those little symbols for washing instructions in Japan, too. Because we have so many Japanese clothes and blankets and stuff, I am still grappling with them. It’s actually easier for me to just read Japanese instructions. Kanji are much more self-explanatory than that little triangle. And, of course, I always have to wonder how hot 30 degrees (e.g.) Celsius is exactly.
Damned Celsius. Christ, why can’t everyone else just do things OUR way?
Comment by jdog — Wednesday 9 August 06 @ 02.15 MDT+2.00
30 degrees Celsius is a nice cool 86 degrees Fahrenheit.
Out here in Western Canada we have government installations that purport to be trilingual but end up mangling the Cree pretty badly.
Comment by palinode — Friday 11 August 06 @ 08.15 MDT+2.00
Amazingly I have just read something random, yet timely, about the Perseid meteor showers that allows me to inform you that the proper term for Jupiterian is actually Jovian. Why? That I do not know. You’ll have to ask
Mr. Language Person.
And yeah, what’s with the polyester underwear. I’m afraid I do not have much sympathy.
Comment by gaoo — Sunday 13 August 06 @ 14.37 MDT+2.00
There is also a label like that on my clothing! Except yours is better.
Basketball
Basket-ball
Basketball
Basketball
Basquete
Basketball
(That’s what it says.)
Comment by anna — Tuesday 15 August 06 @ 00.47 MDT+2.00
but i have to especially like that 100% polyester is repeated 8 times, like it wasn’t possible list it once after a list of languages. it’s got to be a legistated thing. it is just to perfectly absurd to derive from anything else
Comment by dave cunningham — Friday 25 August 06 @ 20.32 MDT+2.00