Scotsman vs. coconut
We just got our internet connection back after nearly a week without. Faithful readers may recall a picture of our cable modem with an icepack keeping it cool. Despite round-the-clock ministrations of cold packs rotated in and out of the freezer, the poor modem finally succumbed to high fever in July’s relentless heatwave, giving up the ghost and quitting on us just in time for the cable company to be shut for the weekend. (The place is only open a total of 15 hours a week in the first place, and they don’t make maximum use of those hours falling over themselves to restore, or indeed install, service).
If I wasn’t before fully aware of how addictive the always-on broadband teat can be, I am now. Modem failure occurred within hours of the internet at work also going down, coincidentally and annoyingly. Six days and four visits to the goddamned cable company later we finally have our connection back at home.
This failure in service coincided with isoglossia seeing a dramatic surge in traffic. I had read somewhere that writing a how-to will often increase site traffic, but was still very surprised to see what had happened while the cable was out. The DIY laptop case post was linked by Make magazine’s blog, Lifehacker, Gizmodo, The Unofficial Apple Website, and others, including one Iberian Mac-centric site that temporarily put Spain well into first place ranking of visitors by country (and brought in a reader who kindly corrected my ham-fisted attempts at stringing together two words of Catalan).
But a mere spike it was, and we missed it. We’re left with a statistical anomaly in our metering software and an unusually large number of comments on a single post. Nearly all of them were positive. Many cited similar projects or mods to improve it. In following some of the trackbacks to the links on the big sites I was really struck by how many commenters who did not bother to click through were not positive. Many seemed downright angry. There was a sense of outrage that anyone would make something if they had the option of buying it. Most people seemed to think that this project was motivated purely by tightfistedness. Another theme that disturbed me was the idea that anything homemade is by definition inferior. Alarmingly, there seemed to be a general belief that the main function of a laptop case is to impress people (specifically chicks). It was also discouraging to see that people didn’t seem to think they had enough skills to do something so simple, who seemed to think that making something this basic themself was just not viable. “I wouldn’t trust foam to protect my computer” one commenter wrote. What do they think mass-produced cases are made from? Antigravity fields and magic gossamer? This sort of visceral consumerism depressed me and I was glad they didn’t visit this site, that it was only the people who ‘got’ this project who took the time to click through from Make, Lifehacker, Gizmodo, TUAW, Applesfera, and the other linking sites. Most of the outside commenters seemed like the kind of people who would respond to homemade cookies with where are the Oreos®? Those who think camping is for people too miserly to shell out for a hotel.
An example of such a comment is here.
In tribute to such people, and to honor my Scottish heritage, I offer these riddles celebrating the Caledonian frugality to which I am a natural heir and which was the sole motivation for creating my own laptop padding. (If any enraged anti-closed-cell-foam consumers happen to trickle in, they should feel free to substitute person who makes his own laptop case for Scotsman ).
What’s the difference between a Scotsman and a canoe?
(mouse-over for answers)
Dude. Welcome back. I was afraid you had all melted.
Heh: “What do they think mass-produced cases are made from? Antigravity fields and magic gossamer?”
The laptop case is cool. You know it. I know. We ALL know it.
Comment by Jagosaurus — Thursday 3 August 06 @ 14.34 MDT+2.00
Yeah…those people are just jealous.
There is nothing I hate more than someone who will buy something just because they are too lazy or too embarrassed to make it themselves. But, I’m not going to talk about that, because this web site is all about LOVE, not hate. Loooooooooove.
Comment by jdog — Friday 4 August 06 @ 00.18 MDT+2.00
Pssst…Some weeks ago, I found your old laptop case, empty and alone, on a shelf in Dad’s study. With your kind permission, I’m thinking I’ll
stealhonor it with re-use, assuming it fits my laptop.Comment by Elsa — Friday 4 August 06 @ 14.22 MDT+2.00
Mr. sgazzetti,
Just one more comment about the DIY MacBook Pro case. Have you thought of submitting it to this place? They seem to have a sense of humour almost as good as yours. Check this Gangsta Bankroll out.
Promise, no more commenting on that fab project.
Comment by DarkoV — Friday 4 August 06 @ 15.46 MDT+2.00
O.K., I lied. One more comment about the DIY project. ANyone who commented negatively on that entry should be sterilized. As jdog mentioned, your site is about Love not Hate, so killing them is too, well, too un-Lovelike. So, sterilization should do the rick. Eliminate folks from the world with no lightness in their spirit. I’ve got some sharp scissors; I’m ready to start.
Comment by DarkoV — Friday 4 August 06 @ 15.54 MDT+2.00
This may be a little off topic right now
but this reminded me of your trip to Spain.
Comment by anna — Saturday 5 August 06 @ 00.10 MDT+2.00
Oh sorry, it didn’t show up!
http://www.asofterworld.com/soft_aug19_2005.htm
Comment by anna — Saturday 5 August 06 @ 00.11 MDT+2.00
Well, if people hated your DIY laptop case, they would surely, surely freak out about this: http://hillbillyhousewife.com/sanitarypads.htm
DIYers unite!
I like the part of the above article that acknowledges that it’s, like, gross to have to get your hands wet. Dude, I am so going to vomit if I have to get my hands WET!
Comment by jdog — Saturday 5 August 06 @ 09.59 MDT+2.00
sashayed over to that hillbillyhousewife site to see if it was a joke. it wasn;t. what was even more impressive was, if you scooted down to the bottom of the page, the number of (Christian) visitors to the site was over SIX MILLION so far.
That’s pretty impressive no matter what type of swill you’re serving up.
Comment by darkoV — Saturday 5 August 06 @ 18.11 MDT+2.00
This is apropos of nothing, I know, but nothing says SGAZZETTI more than this unholy blog. Follow the link to HELL…
http://www.topoimagery.com/peeps/blog/index.html
Comment by jdog — Monday 7 August 06 @ 08.17 MDT+2.00