Friday: search terms and links
If you sit still for some dry site management-related dross, I promise I’ll put some funny stuff you can click on down below as a reward. Or you can scroll straight down there. Probably already figured that out.
Search term analysis
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Search queries that have recently returned www.isoglossia.com as a high-ranking result:
- A reader in Rock Hill, South Carolina asked Google, {does god smell like cookies}. Google seemed to think that isoglossia could answer that question.
God smells like hermits. Trust me on this.
- {sheer female undergarments} as a search string was for a time returning this site as Google’s #2 result. Regular readers will not be surprised.
- Last month we learned via Google that one of our rotating taglines, “Not as gross as it sounds”, is shared by a site called “BARF diet for dogs”; in a related story, {gross sounds} returns isoglossia in Google’s #3 position. Searching for {vomit video}, which apparently some people in Yonkers, New York do, will eventually lead you to us, though I’m afraid you will leave disappointed. However, this in turn led me to learn that scientists have found some 160 million-year-old Jurassic vomit.
- If you Googled {baby metaphor} on May 24, you saw isoglossia at #2, no doubt because we maintain (sort of) that under-updated overwrought baby metaphor clearinghouse over there in the sidebar. Strings involving {pictures of big tummies}, {tickling tummies} or {tickling kids bellies} point this way, too.
- {pictures of insects that resemble hummingbirds} was the most sense-making query anyone seems to have typed into Google in the last few months. Sorry we couldn’t help you.
- {john smells} put isoglossia at #10 on Google this week. What do these people hope to learn?
- Is someone Googling {insert a coin, turn on love} uplifting or depressing?
Click away
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Not all of our leisure-time reading is spent in such scholarly pursuits as researching fossilized marine reptile emetia. Other pressing matters also demand our attention:
- “it was like a train crashing into an oil tanker, and both of them flipping over on to a daycare center.”
- “It can’t be done, any more than you can train a cat to build a chess-playing computer.”
- “It’s a test. If your kid puts his hands in the toilet to fish out an Easter egg, you’re fired. How about that? I think that’s fair. I don’t think you deserve to work here if whatever you teach your kids at home makes them okay with putting their hands in the toilet.”
- “Frequently Asked Questions FAQ
Are FAQs useful?Yes. For example, if Paul Revere had used one he’d have saved himself from riding all over Boston with this FAQ:
Q: Are the British coming?
A: Yes.”
You can go now. Go on, get out of here.
