isoglossia — pending reconstruction

Monday 15 May 06

How words work…

Filed under: Language — sgazzetti @ 09.04 MDT+2.00

…or don’t.

“An Italian friend of mine, who learnt her English in America, calls her mobile her “self-phone”. Presumably she has heard it called a cell phone, but never seen the words written down — and it is a phone you use yourself . . .”

“The simple fact is that if you are ever mentioned on page 1 of a Dan Brown novel you will be mentioned with an anarthrous occupational nominal premodifier…and you will have died a painful and horrible death by page 2, along with several curiously ill-chosen clichés and mangled idioms.”

“Grampa says… ‘the metric system is the tool of the devil’, and that his car gets ‘40 rods to the hogshead…’”

“Because you’re not cultured
you’ll have all 4 tires empty next time
personally will I [do it]
complain to whomever you want

It’s almost like a free-form haiku, isn’t it? Too bad the driver is probably too uncultured to recognize it as such.”

“One of the silent auction items was titled ‘A Day Of Watersports At Lake Geneva’ and LT and I are sick and wrong because we kept saying ‘a whole DAY? The winner is going to be so chapped. Chapped with urine.’”

“You are not going anywhere tonight, Father. You know tonight is when the family plays Fortunatus.”

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